How Self Censorship is Killing Your Sales Game
I’ve been in sales for a long time, which is weird because I’m so young and woke and fresh. It’s magic. But seriously, I’ve been doing this for over a decade. I spent the first few years of my career supporting advisors who were building million dollar advisory practices. By the end of my ten year tenure I was responsible for all sales and business development activities for the advisors I worked with and had personally closed three quarters of a billion dollars in business. So I know a thing or two about sales. #humblenotmodest
It took me a decade to reach that level of success and it wasn’t without A LOT of uncomfortable moments, rejection, frustration and tears. Yes. Tears. Sales can be tough. But it doesn’t always have to be. The single most important thing I did for myself during my sales career was this: I stopped censoring myself. Self censorship in sales is our perverse pursuit of self preservation. It’s a misguided attempt to make the sales process more comfortable for us and the people we’re selling to and it has got to stop. Immediately.
Self censorship in sales looks like this:
Spending too much time talking about crap that doesn’t matter
Giving your lead too many opportunities to say no
Not handling objections, merely accepting them
Not (gently) pushing back
Not (elegantly) making offers
Worrying about being ‘pushy’ or ‘salesy’
Stories about ‘alignment’ or 'fit' or ‘when the client is ready to work with me they will’
It’s not easy standing in your power, making offers and closing deals. It’s a highly visible activity and it can feel uncomfortable but trust me when I say mastering the sales process is the most important thing you can do for your business. So how can we ensure we’re not censoring ourselves during the sales process?
AWARENESS: Recognize what self censorship in sales looks like and when you do it
- When you decide not to address an objection, what is really happening? Objections like “I don’t have the time” or “I don’t have the money” or “I’m not sure this is the right fit for me” are actually opportunities the lead is giving you to continue connecting with them. DO NOT confuse this as an opportunity for a hard sell - in fact, stop hard selling right now. Objections are opportunities to continue the conversation. Ask open ended questions like “why don’t you have the money” or “when IS the right time” or “what are you looking for in terms of fit”. If you’re not doing this, why not? Is it because you’re uncomfortable getting to the bottom of their objection? If you believe your product/service can help them - where does the discomfort come from?
- When you don’t have a clear CTA what is really happening? Ask yourself why you aren’t providing your leads and prospects with a clear and easy path to whatever your desired action is.
- When you spend too much time talking about the “what and how” of your product/service instead of the “why” - ask yourself why!! Is it because it’s easier to talk about details and functions instead of the life changing possibilities your product/service can provide? Does it make you uncomfortable to frame offers in this manner? People are motivated to buy by emotion, not facts. Facts will support the decision but emotion will inspire the decision. When you spend too much time discussing the facts instead of the possibilities of your offering you are censoring yourself - you’re not allowing yourself to be fully present in the offering because of your own discomfort so you resort to a playing field that is comfortable for both (facts) but not motivating (possibilities).
ADOPT THIS MANTRA: TO SELL IS TO SERVE
Because of high pressure sales tactics, cold calling, clumsy sales people, MLMs, we’ve all been conditioned to distrust sales which is the single biggest shame of the 21st century (it’s a toss up between that and the fact that Beyonce hasn’t won a Grammy for Album of the Year yet). At its core, to sell is to serve. If you can frame your entire sales approach in this manner you can quickly eliminate the unease and the self censorship we employ to relieve the discomfort. There is power in service. When you serve the focus is on your client/prospect/lead and their outcome - when you can equate selling with serving you can very comfortably, confidently and powerfully communicate your offerings, handle objections and squash the stories we tell ourselves as to why we aren’t selling.
Go forth and sell bravely my friends and if you're still experiencing discomfort around positioning and framing your offers or dealing with objections drop me a note in the comments. I didn't make it through a decade of sales without a carefully curated list of resources on hand!
